Monday, June 15, 2009

Ashley Tisdale Gives Barack Obama a Lapdance

I apologize. I built you up with that headline, and I’m only going to disappoint you.While making a guest appearance test my broadband speed a Spanish talkshow, some freaky unibrow puppets prompt the Tis to give fastest broadband impromptu lapdance to a Barack Obama impersonator. Aside from some PG-13 titty shaking however, there’s very little “lap” in this lapdance.

When Trk Telecom was finally able to deliver ADSL adsl streamyx capability down here to us on the Aegean Seacoast in 2005, it came not a moment too soon -- to stop the bleeding of our Internet phone bill, which had leaped suddenly and alarmingly in mid-summer to $150 a month for simple 56kbps dial-up service.

ADSL service came late to our Western coastal township, even later to us beach-side residents. It had arrived in Turkey in the new millennium and had been fully operational in the big cities streamyx reseller with Istanbul, Ankara, and Izmir) since 2002 -- and in most smaller West-country municipalities since 2004. But it didn't reach our minor Izmir-province municipality until August 2005.

In fact, we had installed our first Internet phone line in 1994 (a year after the commercial Internet became operational in Turkey) as a separate analog line -- so that Peri could use our first line for voice... And, back then, our dial-up usage costs had been about $20 a month including a small amount of KDV (Katma Değer Vergisi -- Value Added Tax) -- in the neighborhood of 5%, if I recall correctly.

In 1996, when we upgraded to 56kps digital dial-up service, our Internet phone bill internet service to about $25. And it stayed around that level for quite awhile -- until KDV for telephone service was boosted in 2003 (coincidental with the coming to power of Prime Minister Recep Tayyip Erdoğan's religious-right AKP political party) to the maximum KDV tax rate of 18%.

But, when 18% wasn't enough to satisfy the new government's tax man, he invented an additional one called İV (zel İletişim Vergisi -- Special Communications Tax) which socked in at 15% right off the bat -- without much warning in 2004.

So, our once perfectly reasonable monthly Internet phone bill during 1994-2002 got bumped by 33% in 2003-4 -- not due to increased usage on our part, but due to phone bill taxes.

And there it stayed, around $35 a month, until 2005 -- when something strange began to happen with Trk Telecom reports of our Internet usage. And, our Internet bill began to climb steeply -- in clear disagreement with my own cost calculations (based on my hitherto impeccably reliable dial-up service computer logs).

Twice we contacted Trk Telecom to check our Internet line for inadvertent overcharging. Twice they checked and found 'nothing'.

And then in July 2005 the lid blew off the pot... internet spades received a dial-up service phone bill for a whopping $150+.

That was absolutely impossible...

So, after we (grudgingly) paid the $150 bill, we lodged a complaint, and requested an investigation...

Refusal to pay a disputed phone [or electric] bill is not really an option in Turkey. If you don't pay find broadband internet bill on time, they just disconnect the service -- unceremoniously and without warning. They also charge interest on your unpaid balance until you do pay -- and, of course, you have to pay extra to have the service reconnected.

And we waited to hear the result of anonymous internet surfing investigation.

It never came. The following month, as mentioned, Trk Telecom delivered the ADSL service -- and our complaint (and the details of their investigation) got lost in the shuffle.

But that's not quite the end of the story...

[Click following to access a fully illustrated HTML version of href="http://www.learningpracticalturkish.com/high-speed-internet--006-08-06.html"
target="_blank">Turkish ADSL Chronicles, Part 2 -- of ADSL modems and Ramazan Bey
.]

Jim and (co-author) Perihan Masters are a husband and wife team, living on the Aegean Coast of Turkey just 50 miles south of Izmir. Jim was born in Shanghai, China -- of American military parentage. Peri was born on the Black Sea coast of Turkey near Trabzon, of Turkish military parentage...Enticed by a Financial Times advertisement, Jim joined a NATO sponsored enterprise in Ankara in 1974 where he met the beautiful and brainy Perihan, a rising young Turkish banking executive. Settled now in the heart of what was once the ancient Ionian Empire -- the couple live an idyllic life by the sea.. writing, drawing and painting, teaching English, and providing computing service support to local businesses. They also sponsor the MSNBC award-winning Learning Practical Turkish Website which has built an enthusiastic international following of devoted Turkophiles and inquisitive language students of all ages.